Broken

So... I failed.

In the last blog entry I was just saying how I am going to deal with my problems one by one and how that would be the best way to go... Right today, I failed, not just failed, but failed miserably.

I broke down at a place I never thought I would, in front of the people I thought would never see me in that position... and it really hurt.

I have indeed holding everything in for too long, and so... I literally exploded... I didn't know what to do or how to stop it from happening, it just did. The roller coaster just started moving, and there was no way I could turn it back. I had no choice but to let it go until it reaches its destination.

I haven't had a good cry in so long... I cried for small things like songs and movies, but today, I finally had my own time to be in my corner... and cried... The reason was not necessarily because of hurt alone... but for someone like me who holds things in, crying would be the only way to get it all out... and it sure helped...

All I need is time to let everything off of my chest... for the wounds to heal, and for the heart to beat normally again. I know I feel alone not because no one else stands by me, but it is because there is no one close to my heart right at this moment. It may take a little, it may take a while, or it even may take a long time, but like I said, at least because of this I know that I have feelings, I know that I had fallen, and I know that getting myself together to get up would be what needs to be done next...

Soon enough, once I stop looking and worrying about what will happen, everything will fall into places, because I believe.